Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Life

What do you want in life?
How do you plan to achieve that?
What have you achieved so far?
Is it good enough?
Do you want more?

You have to ask yourself those question if you want to live a good life. Why? Oh well, you just have to. Its called planning. Still blur? I can't help you then. lol

Its a step by step question. After one level to another. To do all that you must drive out to achieve it. It won't come just like that. Even trees doesn't grow on its own. They need water and the sun. Why should you have it easy? You can have a million people giving opinion on how to live your life but in the end you need to get started ...

Am I?

So many questions popping out whenever I face time like these. Its like a disease! That's why I hate it. I gave too much? Asking too much? Am I begging? I'm sure as hell hate the last one. I can't stand myself if I did that. Hell NO!

Then started missing the old times. No need to worry too much, take it easy and go with the flow. Do whatever you want. Oh yeah.. missed it big time! But there's no turning back. Nothing good will happen by reminiscing the old. Keep on moving forward and take full responsibility of your own action!

Sometimes I feel like been taken for granted. Maybe because I let people in easily. I get that from my mom I guess. Her favorite line: "Bising la, Ijam. Orang nak tido!", "Jangan bising-bising. Nanti orang sebelah marah", "Alih barang tu. Nanti orang marah". That's why people love her. I gotta be more like my dad. He doesn't care for anyone other than his own family. Seems ruthless but I need to thinking what's best for me before others.

Anyway, just be careful folks. Don't be like me. Screened them if you can. Its for your own good. Hope I'm not too late... or Am I?

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Regrets?

My daily routine this past few weeks has been pretty plain and predictable. Woke at noon most of the time, drinks in the evening, jog if i feels like it then when home at 2 or 3 in the morning. It might sounded great but I hate it!

I need to be working! I'm used to it for 6 years. I love the adrenalin rushed through my vein. I want to feel it again. Yes, I cursed at it then but I missed it. A lot! Oh well, maybe its me. Problem!

Come to think of it, us humans never satisfied. I can't bail out now. I've crawled deep into this hole. Got three person to look after. They can't do this on their own. They're my brothers. Whatever bad feeling i throw towards them can't change that fact. We've been together since we're kids.

Hope everything will change soon. I really hope it will. Insyaallah ...

Saturday, March 6, 2010

What Do You Do?

I was sitting down at one of my friend's wedding enjoying the view (ermm .. not really), comes one auntie, which I assume is my friend's relative from Negeri Sembilan, and her family asking me whether she can sit at the table. Of course, as I am a good and friendly man (lol), I said "Silalah makcik". From then we started chatting about typical "strangers" topic; "Duduk kat mana?", "Macamana boleh kenal pengantin?" etc.. I really enjoy talking to her. Its been awhile since I've been to my hometown in Muar so It is quite refreshing.

But this one particular question that bothers me the most is "What do you do?". I'm so used to saying "Buat kerja sendiri" as we may know as Entrepreneur but this time I quickly think maybe I try telling them what exactly I do for a living to see the reaction. So I answered "Saya main muzik, makcik". She automatically glanced the other way confuse and the husband replied "Oh.. Anak sedara pakcik pun buat muzik jugak. Dia bukak studio tapi dah tutup. Boleh ke hidup?". Oh man, usually that's a trigger for a debate but since I'm at my friends wedding and I'm trying not to be a bad guys so I just answered "Boleh la. Sikit-sikit".

Well, there you go boys and girls, is what I call a typical Malaysian thinking. Me and my mates have discuss this many times. We Malaysian are so used to think that 9-5 work is the best bet to make a living. We never think out of the box. That's why we are not as bold as the Americans nor Europe's peoples. Even my parents did not believe in music. I'm not allowed to play any instruments at home other than the recorder until I was 18 years old. This is not me trying to blame them or anything. I love them so much. I just making a point here.

We seldom think that music is essential to children's education. If we look further to our fellow Europeans and Americans, they do sent their children to music classes. There is where they let them create or think creatively without any limits or borders. These children usually the ones that succeed in life because they think outside of the box instead of being limited to certain things that their parents lead them to believe. By saying this, I'm not trying to implied anything bad but rather than think negatively maybe we can start thinking outside of the box for a change.

When it comes to "What do you do" thing, I would say I did quite good. My income nowadays if not tripled, doubled compared to what I usually get during my so called 9-5 days. I have more time to myself. I've arranged my own meeting during my own time. Stress free! I'm happier than before I might add. I control everything according to my own needs not trying to satisfied "the boss". So if you have the opportunity to do what I do, just go for it. Know what you actually looking for and you'll be OK.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Talk to the hand ....


There is a lot I wanted to say ......
I'm sorry for all the "blurring"
I'm sorry for all the waiting
I'm sorry if I annoyed you in any way

But know this .....
I will always try to annoy you whenever I can
I will keep my head blank whenever you're angry
I will keep doing it until God knows when

It really is an adventure ...

Thank you for letting me in ... (knock knock!!)