Life

What do you want in life?

How do you plan to achieve that?

What have you achieved so far?

Is it good enough?

Do you want more?

You have to ask yourself those question if you want to live a good life. Why? Oh well, you just have to. Its called planning. Still blur? I can't help you then. lol

Its a step by step question. After one level to another. To do all that you must drive out to achieve it. It won't come just like that. Even trees doesn't grow on its own. They need water and the sun. Why should you have it easy? You can have a million people giving opinion on how to live your life but in the end you need to get started ...

Am I?

So many questions popping out whenever I face time like these. Its like a disease! That's why I hate it. I gave too much? Asking too much? Am I begging? I'm sure as hell hate the last one. I can't stand myself if I did that. Hell NO!

Then started missing the old times. No need to worry too much, take it easy and go with the flow. Do whatever you want. Oh yeah.. missed it big time! But there's no turning back. Nothing good will happen by reminiscing the old. Keep on moving forward and take full responsibility of your own action!

Sometimes I feel like been taken for granted. Maybe because I let people in easily. I get that from my mom I guess. Her favorite line: "Bising la, Ijam. Orang nak tido!", "Jangan bising-bising. Nanti orang sebelah marah", "Alih barang tu. Nanti orang marah". That's why people love her. I gotta be more like my dad. He doesn't care for anyone other than his own family. Seems ruthless but I need to thinking what's best for me before others.

Anyway, just be careful folks. Don't be like me. Screened them if you can. Its for your own good. Hope I'm not too late... or Am I?

Regrets?

My daily routine this past few weeks has been pretty plain and predictable. Woke at noon most of the time, drinks in the evening, jog if i feels like it then when home at 2 or 3 in the morning. It might sounded great but I hate it!

I need to be working! I'm used to it for 6 years. I love the adrenalin rushed through my vein. I want to feel it again. Yes, I cursed at it then but I missed it. A lot! Oh well, maybe its me. Problem!

Come to think of it, us humans never satisfied. I can't bail out now. I've crawled deep into this hole. Got three person to look after. They can't do this on their own. They're my brothers. Whatever bad feeling i throw towards them can't change that fact. We've been together since we're kids.

Hope everything will change soon. I really hope it will. Insyaallah ...

What Do You Do?

I was sitting down at one of my friend's wedding enjoying the view (ermm .. not really), comes one auntie, which I assume is my friend's relative from Negeri Sembilan, and her family asking me whether she can sit at the table. Of course, as I am a good and friendly man (lol), I said "Silalah makcik". From then we started chatting about typical "strangers" topic; "Duduk kat mana?", "Macamana boleh kenal pengantin?" etc.. I really enjoy talking to her. Its been awhile since I've been to my hometown in Muar so It is quite refreshing.

But this one particular question that bothers me the most is "What do you do?". I'm so used to saying "Buat kerja sendiri" as we may know as Entrepreneur but this time I quickly think maybe I try telling them what exactly I do for a living to see the reaction. So I answered "Saya main muzik, makcik". She automatically glanced the other way confuse and the husband replied "Oh.. Anak sedara pakcik pun buat muzik jugak. Dia bukak studio tapi dah tutup. Boleh ke hidup?". Oh man, usually that's a trigger for a debate but since I'm at my friends wedding and I'm trying not to be a bad guys so I just answered "Boleh la. Sikit-sikit".

Well, there you go boys and girls, is what I call a typical Malaysian thinking. Me and my mates have discuss this many times. We Malaysian are so used to think that 9-5 work is the best bet to make a living. We never think out of the box. That's why we are not as bold as the Americans nor Europe's peoples. Even my parents did not believe in music. I'm not allowed to play any instruments at home other than the recorder until I was 18 years old. This is not me trying to blame them or anything. I love them so much. I just making a point here.

We seldom think that music is essential to children's education. If we look further to our fellow Europeans and Americans, they do sent their children to music classes. There is where they let them create or think creatively without any limits or borders. These children usually the ones that succeed in life because they think outside of the box instead of being limited to certain things that their parents lead them to believe. By saying this, I'm not trying to implied anything bad but rather than think negatively maybe we can start thinking outside of the box for a change.

When it comes to "What do you do" thing, I would say I did quite good. My income nowadays if not tripled, doubled compared to what I usually get during my so called 9-5 days. I have more time to myself. I've arranged my own meeting during my own time. Stress free! I'm happier than before I might add. I control everything according to my own needs not trying to satisfied "the boss". So if you have the opportunity to do what I do, just go for it. Know what you actually looking for and you'll be OK.

Talk to the hand ....

There is a lot I wanted to say ......
I'm sorry for all the "blurring"
I'm sorry for all the waiting
I'm sorry if I annoyed you in any way

But know this .....
I will always try to annoy you whenever I can
I will keep my head blank whenever you're angry
I will keep doing it until God knows when

It really is an adventure ...

Thank you for letting me in ... (knock knock!!)

Rocking the Rock The World 9

Penat, letih, kecewa tapi seronok. Itulah perasaan yang aku rasa selepas selesai main di Rock The World 9 pada 26hb Disember lepas.

Terus-terang cakap aku memang mengidam nak main kat RTW ni sejak dibangku sekolah lagi. Tapi entah kenapa pada mulanya aku cakap TAK dekat tuan pengurus, Fazrik, bila dia tanya samada nak main ke tak. Waullahua'lam.

Kami hanya bagi keputusan dua hari sebelum Sidang Akbar yang pertama RTW. Tapi awal2 pun dah nampak masalah. Kedua-dua penganjur utama tak sebulu rupanya. Jadi tarikh dan tempat terpaksa ditukar dari yang dijadualkan pada mulanya. Lepas pengumuman tu, adoyai ... Zee Avi dan Azmyl tak dapat join. Agak kecewa jugak perasaan aku masa tu.

Pada hari kejadian, aku dah set dalam kepala otak aku nak tolong kawan-kawan pada siang hari dan baru teruskan dengan Pesawat pada malam hari. Jadi aku bangun awal hari tu dalam pukul 10pg untuk tolong guitar tech aku, Tom Bollock. Tom main 2 band hari tu; Sam & Robot Asmara.

Terperanjat la jugak bila sampai-sampai aku tengok budak-budak yang datang dah ramai. Alhamdulillah. Ingatkan berita tu tak sampai kat diorang sebab pengurusan RTW anjakkan semua kumpulan dekat Indie Stage mula awal 2 jam pada hari sebelumnya.

Photo by Uzair Sawal (FB photo)

Masa Sam & Robot Asmara main cuaca terang benderang lagi. Semuanya masih ok. Tak ada masalah langsung. Tapi dalam pukul 3 lebih, hujan turun dengan lebatnya. Abis kuyup budak-budak yang datang. Kesian sungguh! Dah la tak ada tempat nak berteduh selain dari canopy peniaga2. Sampai aku dengar ada yang bergaduh berebut tempat nak berteduh. Alahai dik. Tapi aku tak boleh nak komen banyak-banyak sebab aku ada tempat berteduh.

Photo by Khuzai Johari (FB Photo)

Bila persembahan dimulakan semula, tak sampai dua band hujan turun balik. Jadi, semuanya dah lari. Masa, peralatan dekat atas stage, mood dan bunyi semua lari ke tempat lain. Hancur lebur. Tapi dalam-dalam kelam kabut tu, boleh pulak si monoloQue mintak aku menari zapin masa set dia nanti. Aku macam biasa, Mak Ok Je!! Hahaha

Aku agak takut-takut nak join monoloQue sebab ada satu band lagi yang perlukan khidmat aku sebagai crew. Kebetulan masa monoloQue main kat Main Stage, LabRat naik Indie Stage. Dalam kelam kabut tu aku redahkan jugak menari Zapin utk monoloQue. Lu punya pasal tadahal la loQue!! Dapat aku buat 2 round, terus aku berlari ke Indie Stage.

Photo by http://blog.enaphotography.com

Nasib baik sempat sebelum LabRat mula tapi effect si Azwaa tak berfungsi ditambah ada Amp rosak atas pentas tu. Allah!! Set LabRat dah dikurangkan ke 2 lagu. Jadi aku suruh si Azwaa teruskan main lagu pertama tanpa gitar sementara aku selesaikan. Alhamdulillah, dia dapat pakai gitar tu pada separuh kedua lagu kedua diorang.

Kesimpulannya, siang hari tu aku jadi crew utk 3 kumpulan: Sam, Robot Asmara dan LabRat manakala menjadi penari untuk monoloQue. Hahaha. Seronok sungguh!

Tibalah waktu malam. Tapi tak malam sangat sebab aktiviti Pesawat bermula sejurus selepas aku selesai dengan LabRat. Sepatutnya aku kena pakai a proper attire untuk MeetnGreet Twisties pukul 6.30ptg tu. Tapi memang tak sempat, terus aku pergi dengan t-shirt dan seluar pendek aku. Hahaha. Nak buat macamana. Aku tengok muka budak-budak yang datang tu gembira je. Alhamdulillah. Kesian tengok diorang. Berpanas, berhujan hari tu. Harap-harap tak ramai yang demam.

Kemudian ada MeetnGreet TM dan seterusnya berjumpa dengan otai, Abang Rom. Ada pulak interview 8TV dgn IMTV. Dahla aku tak sempat nak balik mandi apa semua, macam benda pulak kena buat. Tapi tak boleh nak marah sebab aku yang pilih untuk tolong band-band siang tadi.

Photo by http://blog.enaphotography.com

Perasaan kesian dekat budak-budak tu makin membuak-buak bila aku tengok jadual Main Stage dah lambat hampir 3 jam. Pop Shuvit yang patutnya main pukul 6ptg, mula pukul 9mlm. Memang sah RTW09 abis pukul 12pg. Tapi budak-budak yang datang tak bergerak langsung. Terima kasih!

Synthesizer kitorang, DaniBoy kena migrain tak semena-mena sebelum persembahan. Bertambah tak sedap pulak bila aku dapat tau yang semua band tak boleh main lebih dari 2 lagu. Ya Allah! Dah la set sepatutnya 4 lagu, dikurangkan separuh. Yang dekat luar tu menunggu dari siang berhujan macamana pulak? Makin susah hati aku.

Masa untuk setup 5 minit, manakala persembahan 15 minit je yang diorang bagi. Nasib baik team technical kitorang cekap dan pantas. Shout out to Tom Bollock, Eddie Malie, Khuzai, Paan, Qarma, Asoi, Adnan (Drummer Sam), Boboy dan Chic!! Terima kasih tak terhingga dolmats! Korang memang power!

Photo by http://blog.enaphotography.com

Naik je stage, Ya Allah! ramainya yang menunggu. Penuh depan pentas tu. On stage sound memang tak dengar bende lain selain dari bunyi gitar aku! Aduhhh. Terpaksa aku gagahkan jugak. Nak buat mcmana lagi. Kitorang cuba jugak nak extend ke 3 lagu tapi lepas lagu kedua pengurusan RTW dah suruh turun.

Photo by http://blog.enaphotography.com

But all and all, It was a good show. Tak sangka ramai macam tu yang datang. Terima kasih kerana menunggu. We love you guys. Thanks for waiting again. Harap tahun depan kita ketemu lagi di pentas sebegitu rupa tanpa sebarang masalah. Tapi yang pasti Rock The World 9 merupakan penutup 2009 yang terbaik untuk Pesawat. Teruskan kepercayaan anda terhadap kami. Harap kami dapat membalasnya dengan dengan sehabis baik. Insyaallah ....

Menyunting Gambar

Ini bukanlah sesuatu bende yang baru untuk aku. Dah hampir 10 tahun aku dok main dengan mesin komputer. Jadi baru-baru ni tergerak hati aku untuk belajar menyunting gambar. Seronok pulak melihat kawan-kawan aku yang pandai menyunting ni.

Sekarang aku dalam proses belajar dengan satu minah yang pandai dalam arena ni, Ena (http://www.enaphotography.com/). Cukup pandai. Dah la lawa. Hehe. Tapi asyik nak marah je. Alahai. Sabar la Cik kak ye. Saya baru belajar. ;)

Jadi nantikan hasilnya dalam 2-3 hari ni. Silap-silap lepas ni keluar CamelPhotography pulak. Hahahaha

Akal dan fikiran

Sigh. Akhirnya dapat jugak den post kat blog den ni ha. Lama sgt dah tak post dak?! hehe

Macam-macam bende jadi beberapa bulan kebelakangan ni. Yang paling best dapat jalan-jalan kat tempat yang tak pernah aku jejak. Kuching terutamanya. Tapi tu semua akan dimasukkan kat sini tak lama lagi. Bagi masa sikit ok.

Post ni sebenarnya nak meluahkan perasaan. Aku cukup benci kalau ada makhluk Allah yang buat sesuatu bende tu tak fikir panjang lepas nak salahkan orang lain bila bende tu tak menjadi. Pertama kali aku menjejakkan telinga aku kat bunyi mereka ni, Ya Allah! Aku cukup kagum. Memang aku pasti (hehe .. gelak sat) yang mereka nilah yang dinanti-nantikan.

Tapi bende tu sekerat jalan je. Sekarang ni itujelah yang tinggal. Betul cakap orang tua "Bile ada byk duit, setan pun datang" dan itulah yang terjadi. Lepas satu-satu masalah datang kat mereka ni. Akibatnya, dah tinggal 2 tanpa orang depan. Sigh ...

Sekali hari tu keluar satu bunyi baru dengan tajuk yang amat meragukan. Aku dah syak lain macam bila baca tajuk bunyi tu tapi biasalah cakap orang-orang eropah, "think positive". Jadi, kira oklah. Dan sampailah ke hari ini bila aku membaca ucapan-ucapan bunyi tu dengan teliti. Memang sah ditujukan pada orang depan tadi tu.

Alahai ..... sudah la tu. Dah memang itu yang akan jadi kalau terlalu pentingkan diri sendiri. Sapa nak kerja dengan kamu? Kita hidup tak lama. Buat apa fikir benda-benda yang dah lapuk tu. Teruskan dengan apa yang ada. Akal dan fikiran kita ni dianugerahkan untuk berfikir dan bertindak dengan sehabis baik. Kalau kita tak gunakan dengan baik, tak baiklah jadinya.

Jadi kesimpulannya (ditujukan untuk aku skali), walauapapun terjadi hampir semua benda yang kita buat terutamanya menubuhkan kumpulan muzik bermula dengan persahabatan. Kita bukan masuk Twisties Bingit ke apa. Kenapalah kena ada sifat pentingkan diri sendiri? Kalau nak untung lebih, buatlah solo. Biar makan sama-sama dari tak boleh makan langsung. Betul tak?

Friday morning and I'm pissed!!

I'm a simple guy. I am! You don't have to be a genius to be my friend or associated with me. Everything goes, have fun!! That's about it.

But when it comes to getting the job done, i'm different. Yes, I admit it. Some people don't like me there. And I don't fuckin' care. As long as I can get the "info" straight to your face, i'm good! Again, don't care, don't give a fuck what people think of me. Its all about, say it together now, GETTING THE JOB DONE!!

Know, or better yet, remember your scope and get on with it. If you can't do it, just say so! Quit bitchin' around like a super duper bitch!! Or you really want me to treat you like one? You're wasting my fuckin' time!!

So please remember, folks. It's two different thing: friendship and business. Don't mix them up if you can't handle the heat.

My bad

I can't sleep!! Why oh why?! This is my problem for the past few weeks. I can't sleep early and because of that, I woke up late. Not 30 minutes - 1 hour late, its 5 - 6 hours late every single day!!

It is also the reason why my ex-colleagues and ex-clients, furious at me. lol. I didn't answer their phone calls and replying smses. I felt sorry for my colleagues but not to the clients. Heh! They keep on harassing me to something that they already knew all along. I'm not getting on that train again, believe that! But I will contact them one day, eventually. Hehe

Also got a lot of other stuff on my plates. Sigh ... most of them is the band's stuff la.

We are currently in recording for new singles for our new "double". I, not we, plan to release it after Raya but it seems impossible now. We got other activities on our hands. I'm also planning to release the band's website. Thinking to do it on a full flash platform. Still undecided though. But we've decided on the domain name (it's a surprise!). Everything will be on the site once it's finish. From song downloads, lyrics, photos to merchandises. It's going to be great. You'll see ... and there's some other stuff I can't reveal here. Huhu.

My car .. I still haven't got the time to get my car ignition fixed! The bloody key broke inside it. So now, for the past few weeks, I start the engine using a "playar" (don't know how to spell that! lol). I know, you guys must think that I am a wanker. Well, I am!! I don't give a damn! No no .. i am not a wanker. I'm a gentleman and will try get it fix today if I can woke up early that is.

Next up, I got 2 notebooks need fixing. Both belongs to my aunt. It's not that complicated but as you can see, I keep on waking up late! I hope I can buy the parts today. Here they are:

And this just in, my 320GB HDD just died on my living room. Isk isk isk. Been trying to revive it for 2 hours but nothing happen. It just kaput!

Why Betty? (don't know why i called it "Betty". It sounded cool. That's all) Why? Its 320GB and if my brains random access memory storage is working well, there's only few gig left. So can you imagine how many files i stored in it? AaaAaaaAaaaa ...

I'm going to pass it to my "Sifu", Mr. Bob! (that's his real picture. hahaha)

I hope he can help me on this one ....

So now, you can see why it's a problem for me. I wish I could get it all back on track today but sorry to say, it's almost 8am. Sigh .....

Harun Salim Bachik!

Whoa!! We almost get off home from Pelita Ampang Point last night when i got a text msg from Isma. HSB is sitting at Old Town White Coffee!! It's been a long time since the shooting of our "mirage" music video. Still feel bad he couldn't come to the launch because of his busy schedule.

What a cool dude! I'm still laughing to his role in a new Malay comedy, "SETEM". hahaha. "sila pak, sila pak, sila pak!". Manage to talk to him for a good 20 to 30 minutes and invite him for "buka puasa" next week. Hope everything goes to plan ....


* Harun Salim Bachik: Comedian/Actor/Singer - did a cameo role in Pesawat - Mirage music video. My idol. He is!! Who else did you know using harun_sb@hotmail.com since 1996? lol ;)

coldplay - strawberry swing music video

im very impressed with new coldplay - strawberry swing video. ok, it may not be that new but i dont care. lol.

they call it a stop-animation video technique or something. we were just having the idea to something similar for our "excuse me" video with a friend of ours, Waa and the video came out. sigh. there's no way we can top that (whisper: with our budget that is). ;)

here it is ...

confuse & resist

normally, im not like this. hehe.

not long ago, in the month of far far away, there's a girl manage to take my heart away. i like her so much until it turns to love. sigh .. i didn't do anything about it for quite sometimes and when i did, im disappointed with the result.

it's all in the past now anyway ..


Confuse & Resist by me ;)

it started with the eyes
slowly checking every inch of the face
down to the whole body
searching for the flaws

none

observe from afar
looking at the personality
how people react to it
searching for the flaws

none

one by one try to get near
but no one can get thru
face defeat each time
what created the resistance?

clueless

its my turn
can i get thru?
defeat is the fear
and defeat is what i get

the end?

almost is, yes
but still hoping
confuse is probable
waiting for the definite

lets wait ........ (no more)

kicking into a new journey (my old fb note in June 09)

in the era of economy downturn, i've decided to resign and get into entertainment business. although i've think about it for almost a year, still not sure whether its is a good or bad decision. the only thing i know is that i just can't go on lying to myself that i'm happy or content with what i do. i just can't! all i wanted is to make my hobby as the source of income instead of doing something else.

i got a chance now. i don't want to be a 40yo with a regret not to try. if i failed, at least i can say i've tried. theres some people doubting my decision but fortunately for me my parents didn't which is rare for me when it comes to decide what i should do for a living. not saying they decide each of my decision making but i'm turning 28 this year yet i've nothing to show them i can survive in this life. but of course, as a parent i'm sure they might still have some doubt.

eh! what the hell. i'm in this for a long run not for a year or two. i still think entertainment business have a big potential in this country. we just need someone to set the pace. someone to drive everyone else to be better. someone to educate the listeners. hopefully in 365 or few hundreds more days later, i can say i made a good decision instead of regret. fuel the jet!!!

Welcome!!

This is me welcoming myself to the world of blogging and YOU to my blog!!

Ive seen some of my friends blog and I'd be lying if I say I don't have the urges to make one. lol. So now, I'll give it a go. Let see how it goes and move on from there. After all, I have this much time to spend for it. ;)